Attack of the Clones Minute 62: Super Wet Bathrobe

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No one's running in that mess.

Date

February 7th, 2017

Summary

Jango Fett draws his gun and fires at the charging Jedi. Obi-Wan deflects the blast and swings at Jango Fett.

Guests

Ralph Attanasia & Asterios Kokkinos

Notes

Film

• Starts with Jango firing on Obi-Wan, and ends with Jango dragging Obi-Wan.
• This whole minute is the fight on the platform.
• First time we see someone shooting two guns at once.
• The explosion that blows Obi-Wan away is used twice in this minute

Podcast

• Asterios embeds the link to the SWM paytag whenever he tweets a link to his book.
• Which films the hosts enjoy, and look forward to covering.
• This minute (and really the whole movie) is very "Star Warsy", and at the same time not all that Star Warsy.
  • This movie (and ROTS) doesn't know what's going on, and veers between crazy stuff happening and boring talking.
• Ralph is insulted and angered by the use of the "staring at the twin suns" Force Theme in the last minute (shoutout to the John Williams score), when this movie didn't earn that moment.
• Jango's two guns and Boba Fett gear.
• Obi-Wan is getting direct hit after direct hit from rockets and blaster fire; even though he's a Jedi and has the Force, he should still be totally and utterly dead.
• We rarely see a full-on fist fight in Star Wars, unlike in many other modern movies.
  • This is one of the top-ten punching scenes in Star Wars.
• Jango is wearing a suit of armor, while Obi-Wan is just wearing a super wet bathrobe and knee-high boots.
• Watching the Prequels is like being in an abusive relationship.
• Slave I is a Prequel ship that had a cameo in ESB.
  • Where the ship got its name.
  • Jango created a race of slaves by licensing out his fighting skills and face.
• More on the clones' accents, and why they sound like Jango.
• Jango and Boba's relationship.
  • If you ordered a son from aliens, would you call it "son" or "clone"?
• Obi-Wan trying to Force grab the lightsaber.
  • The guys don't like it, all for different reasons.
    • Could be Jackie Chan-style comedic physical acting, but it doesn't work on screen.
    • Other Force tricks Obi-Wan could have pulled.
• Jedi are strongest when they are dry; Obi-Wan and Yoda are weak when they're on wet or swampy planets.
• Flash forward to minute 117: Yoda's applause line.
• Asterios ranks the Star Wars movies.

• What if Dexter Jettster was General Grievous?
  Alternatively, what if Christopher Lee had four arms?
  
• It's a pretty big deal when Jedi lose their lightsabers, so they should carry two lightsabers into battle so they can't be so easily disarmed.

Meta Minute

• The "Bigger Luke Theory" is based on idea that Luke appears larger in some scenes than in other scenes, leading some to propose that there are at least two Luke Skywalkers running around in the Star Wars Universe (Luke Prime and Bigger Luke).
  • See more at: https://archive.nerdist.com/star-wars-bigger-luke-skywalker-fan-theory-the-dan-cave/
  • The theory doesn't mention how Mark Hamill appearing with his 'cousin' Luke Skywalker on the Muppet show fits into the picture.
• 31:05 podcast episode length.
• Sympathy is where you acknowledge what someone else is going through, although you have not experienced it yourself, as opposed to empathy, where you have been through something similar and can thus put yourself in their shoes. In this instance, Ralph probably means to offer his sympathies.

Quotes

• Asterios:...so if you've made four extra dollars this year, there's a reason why.
• Asterios: <voice dripping with sarcasm> Yeah. That's what I'll do: waste all my time on something I can't make money off of. <mock sincerity> So how's your podcast going guys?
• Ralph: Which is the one [sympathy vs. empathy] where you think what your friends are doing is killing them? Pete: *paraphrases Anakin* Ralph: [I] rescind all of it.
• Ralph: We have so little precious time together...before we grow old and die.
• Asterios: (after getting a detail about the Prequels wrong) I DON'T REMEMBER; THESE AREN'T GOOD MOVIES!
• Asterios: Imagine if you [Alex] had to draw that? Your life's hard enough as a cartoonist. Hatching? More like crosshatching, now! Can't handle it!
• Ralph: *Frustrated groaning*.
• Ralph: He flies up with his rocket jetpack rocket pack...go...
• Ralph: I'm sorry, I probably, like, really topped out the sound thingy...technology.
• Asterios: Quick question, does anybody ever do anything clever in [...] these movies?
• Ralph: Leave him with three limbs amputated next to a lake of lava, because you got burned!
• Ralph: (as Jango)

  Hi. I'm the version of you that's going to live for decades longer than you will. You're gonna die. You're gonna die fighting for something that someone else made you fight for. Me? I'm gonna sleep on this pile of money with my son who lives a natural lifespan. Boba! (as a young Boba) Yeah Dad? (as Jango) Show them how long you're gonna live.

• Ralph: I'm calling you out, Lucas!
• Pete: I Schrödinger's like it.
• Ralph: Hey Hysterical James Olmos, if you had to rank the Star Wars movies by...which ones your favorites are, what would the order of them be?
• Ralph: Hey, Stakokalo, which the Star Wars Movies [sic] ya like'em the most...and all the rest? Asterios: I think you're asking me to rank the Star Wars movies. Ralph: I sure am drunk!
• Asterios: (à la Carl Douglas) Most of the people in the scene were kung fu fighting!
• Asterios: (in a deep, raspy, and commanding tone)

  It's been an honor serving with you all. Gentlemen it's been an honor. You're my daughter, Starbuck. You're my daughter. That's the subtext here. I love you more than my own son Lee Adama.

Link

http://www.starwarsminute.com/2017/02/07/attack-of-the-clones-minute-62-super-wet-bathrobe/

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