Attack of the Clones Minute 61: Antimacassar
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February 6th, 2017
Anakin opens his eyes and looks at her.
- Starts with Anakin lengthily explaining the dreams he had about his mother, and ends work Jango Fett *pew pew* whipping out his guns.
- Amidala's hair is big and cool looking.
- Diagonal wipe.
- First appearance of Slave I (episode order).
- Plug for Asterios' new book.
- Asterios didn't want to be on the show the same week as Ralph because Ralph is his favorite guest to listen to.
- A version of the podcast with Asterios cut out.
- Ralph and Asterios doing a (highly theoretical) podcast where they analyze the Star Wars movies one minute at a time.
- Mentioned: The Burbs Minute.
- Ralph hates this movie.
- R2-D2's constant swearing.
- Force visions messing up Jedi training. They're like Jedi puberty.
- Referenced: Cheap Trick's "Dream Police".
- Palpatine clouding the Jedi Force Vision using the Dark side, except for Anakin's visions. Lazy writing?
- Shoutout to The Fifth Eleminute.
- Creeps don't look like creeps.
- Go against your instincts.
- Anakin's rat tail grease.
- The have antimacassars on every chair.
- Natalie Portman's lack of acting in this scene.
- Padmé needs an emotional decoy to emote for her.
- The Jedi could easily have freed Anakin's mom but they don't. What's up with that?
- This is why Asterios didn't like the movie when he first saw it. He felt bad for Anakin.
- The validity of the argument that these movies are for kids.
- Anakin has no male friends to discuss things with.
- Ralph and Asterios establishing their friendship really well in the elevator ride up.
- Criticism that there is no tension in the action sequences of this movie.
- Just another day at the superhero office?
- This raises the specter of tension in even mundane exchanges during the movie.
- Comparison to the ending of Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
- When we last left Obi-Wan and Jango, they were tense but civil. Now they're full-on fighting.
- Jango makes his son load the car in the rain. Bad dad? Bounty hunter training?
- Mentioned: The Prestige.
- Anakin and Padmé are both attractive young people. Why are they making this so difficult?
- Asterios has to talk about Attack of the Clones if he wants to hang out with the guys.
- Pete and Alex don't get to hand out anymore unless they're talking about Star Wars.
- 27:00 podcast episode length.
- This week of minutes was a last-minute record with Asterios and Ralph after a long stint in L.A. As such it was recorded long after the minutes that occur before and after.
- The "de-specialized editions" are from Harmy.
- All this week, Ralph uses a lot of cute nicknames for Asterios:
Koko, Pokédex, Kokomo, A Stereo Kokomo's, Hysterical James Olmos.
- Early in the history of the show, Pete toyed around with censoring curses using an R2-D2 beep, but it was too distracting, and he opted to go for regular bleeps instead.
- In addition to his pay, which was considerable, Jango asked for only one thing...
- The Prestige came out in 2006, four years after this movie.
- Ralph references the movie Se7en (1995) in his Loot Crate ad.
- Ralph:...I am the one. The only. The sensual. The delicious. The man from behind the thing. The guy who can be described in words...
- Ralph: It's on like Michelle Kwan.
- Ralph: What fetid pile of manure in "Attack of the Clowns" are we gonna to try to shovel down today?
- Asterios: (on the difference between AOTC and TPM) I'd rather be kicked in the shin than kicked in the crotch.
- Ralph: Okay pretend you were a woman. And not you. And it was someone else. Asterios: If I'm pretending I'm a woman I think this is the point in the podcast where I leave immediately.
- Asterios: You don't watch out for me, you watch out for Tom Cruise. Next thing you know he's having a weird robot baby and stopping you from talking to your parents!
- Ralph: My next note is just the word "terrible" with a period.
- Ralph: His [Anakin's] closest male friend is Obi-Wan, and by "closest" I mean they nakedly hate each other.
- Ralph: Boba...wet?
Asterios and Ralph improvise an ad for Loot Crate Ralph: *Bing bong* Asterios: Uhh hello? Ralph: Yes, I'm the mailman. I deliver things. Asterios: Ah, I hate it, you mostly bring bills! Ralph: <interrupting> Hey shut up a second. You got a big old face and I don't want to talk to you. What I want to give you is this sweet box. Asterios: Oh my lord! It's a cardboard box. Is there another box inside?! Ralph: It's Gwyneth Paltrow's head. Asterios: WHAT?! IF ONLY I'D ORDERED LOOT CRATE MY WIFE WOULD STILL BE ALIIIIIIVE!!! Ralph: (Cheesy announcer voice) Don't be like Asterios Kokkinos! Get Loot Crate, it's super great. It's full of stuff. For nerds. And things. And I'm wearing Stance socks. Asterios: ...this month's theme is "loss". Ralph: We lost this month's theme. Good luck getting anything. Asterios: Promo code: sorry.