Jedi Minute 68: Horse Pilot

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If you can read this, your TIE Fighter's too close.


April 8th, 2015


Luke runs with the helmet to where Han has found the charred wreckage of a speeder bike in the grass.


Asterios Kokkinos



  • Starts with the further adventures of Leia's hat; ends with Chewbacca finding some meat on a stick.
  • The meat on the stick: unidentified tusked species.


  • Wicket still being scared of Leia's hat (Note: this was brought up last week).
    • Why else would Leia leave it?
    • Everybody ditches their Rebel hats.
  • Han being glad Leia was gone.
  • Ewoks eating the speeder bikers.
  • Callback to Pete listing the native Fauna of Endor.
    • This is the third time that Alex has tried to look up the EU name of something in this movie and been disappointed.
  • Asterios loves Star Wars and that this show exists.
  • How much does Han really understand Chewie?
  • The character of Chewbacca being inspired by George Lucas' dog.
    • Other dog-like properties of Wookiees.
  • How Endor won the lucrative Death Star contract.
    • Why not build it at Coruscant? To get away from it all.
  • The Empire destroying stars vs. planets.
  • The Sun Crusher. Referenced: Wesley and Beverly Crusher from Star Trek.
  • Space Epic (and the backup book) from Devastator Press. Asterios could use help from the listeners; comment on the Facebook page with the best dumb things from the EU.
  • Other dumb things from the EU:
  • Star Wars in 3D.

Meta Minute

  • 25:35 podcast episode length.
  • Cold open: Ad-read
  • Julian Lennon was the inspiration for no less than 3 Beatles songs.
  • Good job Alex, Starkiller base does destroy stars, but not by blowing them up.
  • The Sun Crusher was armed with "resonance torpedos" capable of causing a star to go supernova.
  • Hohass was a Thakwaash. Although they were equinoid in form, they were in fact bipeds and not full-on horses. He was a founding member of Wraith Squadron.
  • The Phantom Menace 3D re-release made $43,456,382 domestically (half of it in the opening weekend)[1], for a total lifetime gross of $533,827,888. There are no available figures on how much it cost to convert, but if we take Asterios' estimate at face value, that would still have left a profit of more than $285,000,000.


  • Asterios: (as a newly single Han Solo) Me and Mon Mothma are gonna hit the town.
  • Asterios: (as the Emperor) We better go somewhere else. Those teddy bears seem cool.
  • Asterios: (as 'Senator' Wicket) Yub yub. Yub yub mint julep yub yub? Yub yub wet your whistle?
  • Pete: I thought the Sun [son] Crusher was Wil Wheaton. Alex: *groans* Asterios: Oh, I get it! I'm the dumb one, as usual.
  • Pete: It's hard to top Horse Pilot.
  • Alex and then Pete: "Small potatoes compared to a horse pilot."
  • Asterios: I can't read all of Wookieepedia—I'll die! Like, I'll literally choke to death on my own barf.
  • Alex: <Liverpudlian accent> Pick whatever duality you want.


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