Attack of the Clones Minute 34: None of Us Here

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The Jedi archives strongly resemble the Long Room in the Old Library of Trinity College, Dublin, although Lucasfilm claims the resemblance is coincidental.


December 29th, 2016


Dexter grins. He puts the dart down between them.


Kelly Anneken



  • Starts with Obi-Wan asking Dexter Jettster about Kamino, and ends with Obi-Wan asking Jocasta Nu about Kamino.
  • Callback to Star Wars: 12 parsecs.
  • The Jedi archives.
    • Famous Jedi busts:
  1. George Lucas
  2. Rob Coleman
  3. John Knoll
  4. Pablo Helman


  • Fears about droids taking over/replacing organics and the nature of artificial intelligence.
    • Mentioned: "Westworld".
  • Shared history between Obi-Wan and Dex.
  • Pete's theory that Obi-Wan is baked in this scene.
  • Stellar cartography in Star Wars
    • "Parsecs" are actually correctly used as a unit of distance here, as opposed to how Han Solo uses it.
  • Change from the script: Kyberdart vs. Sabredart.
  • Thoughts on the Special Editions vs. the theatrical releases.
  • Obi-Wan needs to be polite and pay people.
    • Obi-Wan as a P.I.—does he have an expense account? Who foots the bill?
  • Are Jedi salaried? Or do they take a vow of poverty.
  • The Kaminoans are "damn good" cloners (clonicians?). That implies that there are also terrible cloners out there.
  • The Lost Twenty. Mentioned: the the Lost Twenty deleted scene.

Meta Minute

  • 32:36 podcast episode length.
  • Jordan White came up with a similar theory regarding substances taken in Jabba's palace (see minute 9 of Return of the Jedi).
  • The "formal name" of the Rishi Maze is "Companion Aurek", Aurek being the first letter of the Star Wars alphabet, Aurebesh. It was one of 7 dwarf galaxies orbiting the galaxy proper.
    • The main Star Wars galaxy had 400 billion stars, and 180 billion star systems. Of these, ~1 billion were inhabited, so it is understandable that Obi-Wan had not heard of Kamino. Compare this to the 100–400 billion stars with an estimated 100 billion planets in our own Milky Way Galaxy.

OK, time for some more math!

Although Wookieepedia suggests that this is THE Star Wars Galaxy, the math doesn't add up.
Given that the Star Wars galaxy proper is 120,000 light years across1 (for reference, our Milky Way galaxy averages about 140,000 light years in diameter), we can calculate how far away you'd have to be for it to appear the size of the galaxy at the end of ESB. Just for reference, the Andromeda galaxy, which is 220,000 light years across and is 2.537 million light years away2 would appear about 2 inches across in the night sky, if it were brighter.

But first, we have to calculate how big it appears. We know Mark Hamill is 170 cm (5'7") tall (thanks Google), we can use him to scale the size of the window, and from there we can calculate the galaxy as if it were a painting that Luke and Leia and the droids are standing right in front of. The window is about 340 cm across at the bottom, and the galaxy appears to take up about 80% of that, or 273 cm. We then have to figure out what the angular (apparent) size of the galaxy in question is. It looks like Luke and Leia are standing about 2½ feet away (76.2 cm) from the window, so we divide 273 cm by 76.2 cm and then take the arc-tangent. This gives us the angular size in degrees. We need it in arc seconds, so we multiply by 3600 seconds per degree to get an apparent size of 268,500 arc seconds (the Sun is about 1920 arc seconds).

OK, so now we know how big the galaxy appears, we can use the small angle formula D = (θ * d) / 206,265 to figure out how far away the medical frigate would have to be from the Star Wars galaxy for it to appear that size. We get a distance of 28,266 parsecs (more than 90,000 light years). That's really far, and makes me question if that glowing thing is THE galaxy. What is more likely to me is that it is a dwarf galaxy like the Rishi Maze.  Dwarf galaxies average around 1,400 light years across, but some are as small as 300 light years in diameter3. Since Wookieepedia doesn't list a size for the Rishi Maze, so let's just call it 300 light years, or approximately 92 parsecs. That would mean the medical frigate was a far more reasonable 70 parsecs from a small dwarf galaxy, still quite a ways, but more feasible given Star Wars technology.

Other Meta Notes

They've actually already made the bust of Count Dooku with Jocasta Nu. This is the only bust from the Lost Twenty that was made.
  • At the Ancient Greek Olympics, they would immortalize cheaters by forcing them to pay for unflattering statues of themselves. If they could not afford the statue, their home city was required to cough up the cash4.


  • Alex: (as stoned Obi-Wan) Dude, you got four arms.
  • Kelly: It's like a double entendre that's short in entrendre. Alex: He barely achieves 'single entendre'.
  • Pete: (Huskily) Coleman Trebor. Kelly: Smell the Force.
  • Alex <after the closing theme> I already said it.


  • Kelly's Finn/Poe fanfic:
  • Episode:

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