Empire Minute 18: Laser Brain

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February 5, 2014


Leia leans over and kisses Luke on the lips. Then she turns on her heel and walks out, leaving everyone in the room slightly dumbstruck. With some smugness, Luke puts his hands behind his head and grins. Suddenly, in the distance, the muffled sound of an alarm is heard.


Asterios Kokkinos



  • FX-7's lifeless husk.
  • Scandalous kiss.
  • C-3PO makes a definite effort to move so he can watch Leia kiss Luke.
  • Luke's "I'm a cool guy" move.
  • This is the only minute where all the main characters (minus Lando) are in the same shot.


  • Why is it unsafe for any ships to leave the system? Did General Rieekan even say that our did Leia make that part up?
  • Mentioned: Deck Officer
  • Asterios' top three reasons why he loves "Laser brain" as an insult.
    • All three reasons are that if it's good enough for Chewbacca it's good enough for him.
  • Where did Leia get the insult from? In-universe popular culture?
  • Although "laser brain" and "scruffy looking" are funny, "nerf herder" is offensive.
  • Callback to the deleted subplot of Chewie not liking the Han-Leia relationship.
  • The pronunciation of "Kashyyyk"
  • Chewbacca's life debt.
    • Maybe that's why Han is so focused on keeping track of who owes who and how much.
  • Despite the fact that C-3PO had his memory erased at the end of episode III (sorry Pete!), does any part of him know Luke and Leia are related?
  • Cut scene where Luke is rejected by a girl in the cantina.
  • Referenced: Zack Morris.
  • In answer to the question posed yesterday, yes Leia only kisses Luke to make Han jealous - the first thing she does after kissing him is to stare right at Han.
    • Given this, it makes Luke's pride all the more poignant.
  • Han calling Chewie "fuzzball" and other racial slurs.
  • Based on the kiss, it's clear that Lucas made them siblings between Empire and Jedi.
  • Alex will forget to mention that this minute has all the main characters. This will be corrected tomorrow.

Meta Minute

  • 18:11 podcast episode length.
  • Cold open: Audible ad.
  • According to Wookieepedia, a Nerf is a form of hairy mammalian livestock (and is not a term for the Wookiees). Kris Elioup was a nerf herder on Eadu.
  • In The Force Awakens we hear another farming-based insult that is reminiscent of the "Nerf herder" line.


  • Pete: "Hey, fax-face." That was my favorite insult from the 90s.
  • Asterios: (as Chewie) Life debt paid! I'm gonna go home and raise my kids [sic] like I should've been doing this whole time!
  • Asterios: (Chewie, to IG-88, who he has hired) I think I know where he is. He might be right here in the game room playing holographic chess, with a handsome walking carpet. Yes WE can say that! It's OUR term. YOU can't say that.
  • Asterios: It's not incest it's "win-cest". Who cares? Alex: Mace Wincest.



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