Empire Minute 38: Captain Scrapey

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Date

March 5th, 2014

Summary

The Millennium Falcon races away from the colliding Star Destroyers, still followed by four TIE fighters. Laser bolts spark the pitch-black skies.

Guests

Tim Kreider

Notes

Film

  • Starts with Han outmaneuvering Star Destroyers; ends with Han and Chewie desperately trying to fix the Falcon's hyperdrive as there's only so much outmaneuvering they can do and they're trying to outrun them.

Podcast

  • The very beginning of the minute stars with the end of Han's quip about C-3PO "Shut him up or shut him down". A clever quip.
  • Did Han make that quip up?
    • He probably saw it on a TV show.
    • Is it a known thing in the Star Wars universe like "Up your nose with a rubber hose" in our world?
    • Han Solo is a quick-witted guy so its possible.
    • He's been insulting C-3PO for a few years by this point.
    • This makes up for the lameness of his "Goldenrod" insult in ESB 35.
  • Han's hatred for C-3PO:
    • They have a cantankerous relationship - mainly due to Han Solo; C-3PO would be happy with Han liking him.
    • C-3PO would be happy if everyone liked and respected him.
    • There is not mutual hate between the two.
    • C-3PO is like Marvin in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; he feels that he's the smartest person in the universe - as evidenced by his weird little 'fourth wall' sigh of "typical!".
  • A person should be allowed to treat a droid they way they want to without having to worry that the droid is then going to make them feel bad for it. We would not like our computers doing that. If this was the case then after every quip we'd have to erase the machine so that it would start liking us again.
  • Tim likes Han's hatred for C-3PO, especially in this movie. The best moments are:
    • "I'm not really interested in your opinion C-3PO." <sic>
    • 3PO gibbering on about how maybe they should just surrender to the Empire and they're really not so bad etc; Han simply just wearily gestures to Leia like "Can you do something about this...?"; Leia leans over and turns C-3PO off.
    • Tim once did that gesture to someone in real life:
      • Watching Tarkovsky's Andrei Rublev at Anthology Film Archives.
      • Sitting behind him was a guy and his girlfriend.
      • If there was anything that the girlfriend didn't understand in the movie than she would ask the guy about it.
      • <As the movie is quite confusing> this went on the whole time.
      • Eventually Tim turned around and gestured wearily to the guy.
      • The guy instantly grasped the situation, held up his hand and acknowledged the problem.
    • Alex's favourite Han to C-3PO insult is when Han says to Chewie <in a later minute> "Chewie can you take the PROFESSOR out to...".
  • In the Leigh Brackett draft script for the movie C-3PO is still frozen in ice in this scene following a mishap back on Hoth:
    • Something to do with the Wampas having ice breathe and being able to freeze things by blowing on them.
    • C-3PO gets frozen in this way so they just push him in a block of ice onto the Falcon.
    • The hosts agree that this is something that would happen to C-3PO.
    • The ice slowly melts away from his body until just his head is still frozen.
    • C-3PO starts gesticulating wildly until Leia chips the ice away from his mouth and he can talk (another example of C-3PO the robot needing his mouth to talk).
    • In this draft Han Solo does NOT get frozen in carbonite at the end, so it is not a foreshadowing of what's to come later. Although that would be ironic given the nature of their relationship.
  • Chewie makes a unique noise when C-3PO falls into him; maybe his skin he gets pinched by C-3PO. Leia should have strapped C-3PO in with a seatbelt.
  • C-3PO is the Nerd and Han is the Jock / Delinquent / Dropout. Han should have shoved C-3PO into one of the lockers at the back of the Falcon.
  • Nerds and Jocks sometimes end up respecting each other so the hosts imagine a scene in which Han finally respects Greedo and C-3PO.
  • Han uses a third dimension by flying DOWN at the Star Destroyers, which causes problems for the Destroyers.
    • Did the Imperial Officers not see this coming?
    • If Han had of stayed level would the Destroyers eventually just circled and trapped him?
    • Do the Destroyers actually hit each other? The hosts think they do.
    • The "Star Trek effect" of the actors staggering from side-to-side is used as klaxons sound in the background.
    • The hosts like the thought of the two Destroyers scraping along each other. They imagine how this scene would play out. You can cut that out.
    • The identity of the Imperial Officer that says "take evasive action" is unknown.
    • One Imperial Officer braces himself well before the two Destroyers hit or really even get close. He's definitely looking out for number one.
    • The hosts name the Imperial Officer that says "take evasive action" Captain Scrapey. He is always bashing into other spaceships and getting into various scrapes.
  • The host discuss what it would mean if things from the podcast start turning up on Wookiepeedia. Alex: "I wouldn't be excited so much as almost like a warning sign!". They then discuss the podcast as a symptom of the bigger problem; the hosts say they are in denial of that at this stage - the podcast is just for fun, although they are slowly being pulled into Star Wars canon. The next step is to be extras in a Star Wars movie.

Meta Minute

  • 20:13 podcast episode length.
  • Cold-open: 8-DAY-GREEDO call - Paul from Kansas City - C-3PO points out that the Millennium Falcon's hyperdrive motivator is out of order just before they fly into the asteroid field. If you want to make money in the Star Wars universe then you need to go into the motivator repair business as it appears that there are no fully functioning motivators in that universe.

Quotes

  • Tim: <Intro> I'm Tom Kreider, guest star....
  • Pete: <To Tim> Thanks for coming back, I know its Wednesday... Things are difficult on a Wednesday.

Link

http://www.starwarsminute.com/2014/03/05/empire-minute-38-captain-scrapey/


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