Empire Minute 67: C-3PO's Big Book of Odds

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David Prowse and Peter Mayhew had an average height of 6' 10½" (2.1 m) between them, and if they were trying to sneak into an R-rated movie they'd need a trench coat 140 inches (355 cm) long, so yeah, they would certainly count as "big 'n tall".


April 15th, 2014


Han pulls back on the hyperspace throttle and — nothing happens. Flak bursts continue to rock the ship.


Chris Radtke



  • Starts with Admiral Piett asserting "we have them now" referring to the Millennium Falcon which is now out of the asteroid field.
  • Ends with Han Solo - the jump to light speed having failed - turning around and going towards the Star Destroyers.


  • Piett could have been referring to something else with his "we have them now" line - for example, doughnuts.
  • Camera shots of the Falcon being pursued by Star Destroyers are always great. The Falcon is hit by a laser blast and bucks up and down. This is good space action.
  • Everybody in the movie is watching / participating in the battle.
    • They must be thinking "whoa, this is intense".
    • They are shaking up and down and side to side.
    • C-3PO waves his arms around and delivers exposition.
    • "We've escaped the space slug, left the asteroid field and are now being pursued by Star Destroyers."
    • At least C-3PO is being slightly positive for a change.
  • Great physical acting by Chewbacca in this sequence.
  • Kudos to Ben Burtt for the "hyperdrive fail" sound effect. This is made even better by the music cutting out.
  • Leia is exasperated and probably thinks that they're going to die.
    • Han doesn't think that they're going to die at any stage. Pete has a theory about this:
      • Han knew that the hyperdrive wasn't going to work.
      • He's happy that they've escaped the space slug and the asteroid field but doesn't want to admit that the Falcon is still broken.
      • Instead, he goes through a whole show.
      • "Ready everyone, ready, hyperspace on 3." Then "Oh no; it's not my fault" etc.
      • He knew all along and was just making a show of it.
    • Alex's view:
      • Han's exposition about lightspeed is purely for the audience.
      • Han does look genuinely crest fallen when the hyperdrive fails.
      • Alex also loves Han's "it's not my faults".
    • Chris agrees with whoever spoke last.
  • The Falcon crew think that they're going to get killed or captured if they can't go to lightspeed.
    • The crew doesn't know why they're being hunted at this stage.
    • If they were captured at this point Luke would still come to their rescue and the movie would resume as normal.
      • Although the bounty hunters would all be disappointed and leave.
      • The crew does screw Lando by going to his Cloud City establishment, although in the long run Lando is better off as he joins the Rebellion and becomes a better person.
  • If the Empire did capture the Falcon would Vader trade in his TIE fighter and take over the Falcon?
    • If so, who would be Vader's co-pilot?
      • The Falcon needs a pilot and co-pilot to operate it and a couple of Stormtroopers for the gun turrets.
      • Is the Falcon always a two-person driving job? The hosts say yes <Note - Episode VII suggests otherwise.>
    • In regards to the question regarding Vader's co-pilot:
      • Pete - Bossk; Vader would have a t-shirt saying "Bossk is my co-pilot".
      • Alex - Wald and/or his friend - Kitster. (The name Kitster is a cross between Kit Fitso and Dexter Jexter.)
      • Although Kitster would be reluctant to participate with Anakin after all these years - he's an accountant now and that was 30 years ago.
    • Chewbacca is just really frustrated that his life debt is to this loser Han Solo.
      • At this point he probably wishes that his life debt was to Vader.
      • Maybe Chewbacca could stay on the Falcon as Vader's co-pilot.
      • They would become known as "The Space Talls" and would shop at "Big and Tall" where they could buy matching Big and Tall bandoleers.
  • C-3PO attempts to give the odds but is told to shut up.
  • Leia is imprisoned in all three movies.
    • The hosts imagine that in Episode VII we will visit her in prison.
    • She will be a character like Red in "Orange is the New Black".
    • She would be in prison because the Alderaanian royal family were just terrible people and bounty hunters tracked them all down and threw them into jail.
  • Are C-3PO's odds for any spaceship, a spaceship of the Falcon's class, the Falcon specifically or for Han Solo as a pilot?
    • They're probably for a spaceship of the Falcon's class (i.e. a freighter) versus an asteroid belt.
    • Or, when C-3PO talked to the Falcon earlier he downloaded the full specs of the spaceship and knows exactly what it can do.
    • When he spoke to the Falcon he asked it to give him the odds of every possible scenario - for example running into a bear.
    • C-3PO then wrote all these down in his big book - "C-3PO's Big Book of Odds".
    • Then, when something happens, he goes through the tables in the book to work out the odds. "The shields are down so that's plus one to hits".
    • C-3PO should just give simple odds like "two to one" or "even money".
    • Jabba should use C-3PO and his odds for his gambling activities. This would be instead of the "odds card" used at casinos.
    • C-3PO would be dressed like a dealer and would wear a green cap.
  • Today's podcast episode is a short episode to make up for yesterday's episode (see ESB 66).
Chris's memories of seeing ESB for the first time.
  He remembers standing in line at a movie theater in Long Island.
  Maybe the Elwood Twin theater (in honor of Bossk and the twin Bossk brothers - Peanut Butter Head/Face).
  This was in 1980 so he was 7 years old.
  After the movie, he remembers arguing at camp on whether Darth Vader was really Luke's father or not.
  Kids thought that Vader was a robot so him being a dad was very debatable.
  It was a great time to be able to debate this, without the internet, for three whole years.
  In the old days your Mum would say that you have to play with her friend's son.
  Some mope would then come over and you'd have to entertain them.
  You would inevitably start talking about Star Wars - it was 7 year old small talk.
  Alex - and you would drink juice bossks.
  Chris did think that Vader was Luke's father.
   Why would he make such a fuss otherwise?
   Plus, Vader doesn't lie. He alters deals and doesn't tell the whole truth - but he never lies.
   Not like that crazy lying liar Ben.

Meta Minute

  • 16:38 podcast episode length.
  • Cold-open: promo for a kick-starter - a card game called Triptych: Anything vs Everything.


  • Chris: I'm Chris Radtke from "Fake IDs", the podcast for under-aged drinkers.
  • Chris: <As C-3PO> Nine and three quarters.
  • Pete: <As Han to the tune of 2 Unlimited's song "Get Ready for This"> You all ready for light speed!
  • Chris: <As rastafarian Dengar> I crashed my Swoop; it's not my fault.
  • Alex: Some bollocks in the cockpit. Chris: Jim J. Bollocks.
  • Pete: I like saying Bossk.
  • Chris: Back in the late 90s I used to know his name.
  • Chris: <Chris and Alex as petulant teenage Leia> Shut up! Alex: Could you be more annoying? Chris: Oh my god!
  • Chris: <As lying Ben in a posh accent that sounds like Dudley Moore> Oh, from a certain point of view.
  • Alex: If you get lost between a small moon and New York City... <The as Ben> ...the best you can do is fall in love.



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