Empire Minute 70: Yoda's Greatest Hits

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Date

April 18th, 2014

Summary

Luke closes his eyes and concentrates on thinking the ship out. Slowly, the X-wing’s nose begins to rise above the water. It hovers for a moment and then slides back, disappearing once again.

Guests

Chris Radtke

Notes

Film

• Starts with Yoda saying "Do or do not, there is no 'try'"; ends with Yoda saying "size matters not".
• Yoda's greatest hits in this minute.

Podcast

• Yoda says <sic> "There is not try, there's only do" and then giggles.
  • Chris has a problem with this. People do try to do things and it's largely a semantic debate.
  • Pete says that "try" implies that there is room for failure; "do" indicates that you are going to get it done one way or another.
  • Chris suggests that Luke should say to Yoda - "Do speak normal and I don't like your round rocks, fresh mouth or your ET feet".
• Luke does try, and does not do, to lift the X-wing.
  • Yoda looks very incredulous.
  • Luke looks particularly scrawny as he stands there and attempts The Force move.
  • Yoda has a look that indicates to Chris that he is counter-acting Luke's power to push the X-wing down.
  • Without Yoda fighting against him, Luke could have easily popped the X-wing out of the swamp.
  • Yoda is really straining to counteract Luke - the Skywalkers have immense Force power.
  • Chris emphasizes his view that Yoda does not like the Skywalkers (see ESB 69). Yoda is hazing Luke and is trying to keep him down.
  • Pete goes back to his view that the training is meant to be impossible.
  • Yoda is definitely surprised by Luke's power.
• The X-wing sinks!
  • Will it float? (from The Letterman Show).
  • R2 makes the same sound as when the Jawas zap him in Star Wars.
  • The spaceship is now worse off then when Luke started. This foreshadows Luke trying to do something good in the universe and only making things worse.
  • Is this the whole story of Luke Skywalker, not just in this movie?
  • The hosts mention that they've been getting notes that they have been doing too much Luke Skywalker bashing.
    • Pete likes Luke.
    • Chris likes Luke more than Han.
    • Alex likes the Rancor Keeper.
    • Pete is a BoShek kind of guy.
    • Bo Shack is Bo Jackson's Shrimp Shack in Louisiana.
• Luke constantly fails during his training.
  • Yoda is annoyed at this attempt to lift the X-wing because he wants to steal the spaceship and use it to take on Palpatine himself.
  • Can Yoda give "the finger"? A detailed and technical discussion of Yoda's hands and his "the finger" technique follows.
  • Yoda and / or Yaddle cannot leave Dagobah until they find replacements to take their place.
• Is Dagobah Yoda's home planet?
  • We'll find out in the Yoda movie which will be called Star Wars: Yoda - The Unbrock Initiative.
• When the X-wing sinks does Luke think that he lives on Dagobah now?
• If Yoda and Luke were forced to live together, then Yoda would probably Force choke Luke at some point, maybe immediately.
  • Would they be good friends? Yoda is very cranky all the time.
  • We'll see Yoda's training in the Yoda movie. Who trained Yoda?
  • We'll also get an explanation of the neurological condition that makes him speak the way he does.
  • Perhaps he was hit in the head by a round rock.
  • Chris suggests that Yoda was trained by Li-On Jinn, Qui-Gon Jinn's grandfather.
  • Or he was trained by a character called Benedict Cumberbatcht (with a 't' at the end), played by a no-name actor.
  • Apparently this is a key plot line in episode 7 - you heard it hear first!

 More headlines from M'Kae (see ESB 69)
 Sherlock to play evil Jedi!
 Yoda trained by Sherlock
 Smaug?
 Yoda conned by Smaug.
 No ship, Sherlock!

• Luke and Yoda say <sic> "I can't, it's too big." "Size matters not."
  • These are filthy disgusting comments from Luke and Yoda.
  • The movie should have cut to Don Knotts doing some plumbing for Yoda, overhearing the comments and being all shocked.
  • This is the moment when the space slug should have come out of the asteroid and tried to bite the Falcon.
• If Alex had an R2 unit he would definitely make it emit comical sound effects whenever he makes bad puns.
  • C-3PO has definitely had at least one memory wipe but R2 hasn't had any. Given this, what's the deal - why doesn't he remember Yoda.
  • He does but Luke doesn't understand what R2 is saying.
  • R2 also remembers Obi-Wan in Star Wars. Obi-Wan does remember R2 as well but says that he doesn't because he is a filthy liar.
  • Additionally, Yoda told R2 to play along with him when Luke and R2 arrive on Dagobah.
  • Episode 7 is a clip show of scenes cut from the previous movies.

 The Yoda movie should start when Yoda is six years old.
  The hosts provide an outline of this movie:
   It's like Home Alone - Yoda is the one at home.
   Some droids try to break in. Actually, IG-88 and a rancor try to break in.
   IG-88 plays Daniel Stern's character.
   The rancor plays Joe Pesci's character
   Yoda plays Macaulay Culkin's character.
   The movie will now be called Star Wars: Yoda - The Dramick Conundrum, Alone Home

  (From the ad for the movie)
  Starring IG-88 as Daniel Stern.
  And...
  The rancor as Joe Pesci.
  With...
  Toryn Farr as Catherine O'Hara as Yoda's mom.

• R2 ruins Luke's Force lift by distracting him.
  • R2 is clearly in cahoots with Yoda and they are both against Luke.
  • As Luke is lifting the X-wing R2 plays song/s:
    • "Get Ready for This" & "Cha Cha Slide"
  • Luke has to clap his hands and that is why he drops the spaceship.
  • Various dances that order the dancers around are then discussed.
• Minute 70 is the highlight of the Yoda experience in ESB.

 Chris used to play Star Wars figures with his cousin Ricky.
 Ricky would get Luke, Yoda and Leia.
 Chris would get Han, Bespin Leia (who was Leia's sister Zeia) and Yoda's brother Zoda.
 The character's babies were Jawas.
 The letter Z is the most science-fictiony letter in the alphabet.
 Characters and actors names that start with Z are discussed.
 Pete points out that is sounds like Zeia and Zoda were named while they were in a child's mouth.
 Chris would also get Chewbaccca (to go with Han).
 Ricky would also get R2 (to go with Luke).
 They would form natural Star Wars families.
 They were basically playing Star Wars house - it was a little weird.

 (From the ad for the TV show)
 Star Wars House!
 Who's going to live, who's going to die?

 The character cast of Star Wars House:
 Malakili (The Rancor Keeper:
 M'Kae
 Deck Officer
 Boshek, Boshank, Bo Jackson
 C-3PO
 Ainlee Teem from Malastare

Meta Minute

• 21:10 podcast episode length.

Quotes

• Pete: <In the intro> "It's our daily podcast where we analyze, scrutinize and 'judge me by my size' the Star Wars movies one minute at a time."
• Chris: And I'm Chris Radtke from Escape Pod, the podcast about podcasts.
• Pete: Shots, shots, shots, shots!
• Chris: <Classic R2 impersonation.>
• Chris: Yoda - enough!
• Alex: I was very disappointed - I had to look up the name BoShek the other day. Pete: Was it something I said?
• Alex: Looking at the transcript... Chris: Looking at the trandoshan.
• Pete: When Yoda was a kid did he ride a "do-cycle", because there is no "tri"?

Link

http://www.starwarsminute.com/2014/04/18/empire-minute-70-yodas-greatest-hits/

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