Jedi Minute 10: Worst Message Ever

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January 16th, 2015


Artoo whistles, and a beam of light projects from his domed head, creating a hologram of LUKE on the floor.


Jordan White



  • Starts with the beginning of Luke's holo-message to Jabba.
Ends with Bib Fortuna's one star review of said message - he is not impressed. Worst message ever.



  • Thanks to and from Jordan for the week.
  • Jabba's reaction when the message starts playing is funny. Does he recognize Luke Skywalker?
  • Does the Empire advertise who its enemies are?
  • Jabba's pupils dilate - like a cat.
  • This is another scene of R2-D2 playing another hologram message on Tatooine.
  • Luke Skywalker is a serious dude in this scene and in this movie in general.
  • Luke has bounced back from being thrashed by his father.
  • Is Luke officially a Jedi now or is he just saying that?
  • Whether the Jedi Council worked or not.
  • Are there any nude Jedi?
  • How to record, co-ordinate and playback / project a 3D holo-message
  • The low visual quality of the holo-message.
  • Does R2 still have Leia's message on his hard drive, along with others?
  • Why C-3PO thinks R2 is playing the wrong message.
  • Jabba the Hutt is voiced by Larry Ward. Ward created the Huttese language in conjunction with Ben Burtt. It is based on the Peruvian language Quechua.
    • There are probably Peruvian jokes hidden in the movie.
  • Other characters that speak different earth languages / words in Star Wars.
  • Greedo speaks Huttese and he is also voiced by Larry Ward.
  • Jabba's various physical and voice appearances in different versions of Star Wars.
  • Anthony Daniels always voices C-3PO - in everything.
  • Actors voicing their characters in Star Wars other then the movies (e.g. Liam Neeson in Clone Wars).
  • Mentioned: The A-Team movie (remake).
  • Luke Skywalker is dressed in all black - he looks a little like a priest.
  • Luke is dressing like a Jedi and/or an adult.
  • Script notes indicate that Yoda and the Emperor are not Jedi or Sith. They are just teachers and specifically would not have wielded lightsabers. This is later contradicted by the Prequels.
  • Luke wearing black may be an indication that he's going to the dark side.
  • Did the audience ever really think that Luke was going to go to the dark side?
  • What Jedi will be wearing in Episode VII.

About Salacious Crumb

  • Hosts do not like his introductory shot.
  • He was not in the original script.
  • When he was first created he was just going to sit on someone's shoulder and repeat everything like a parrot.
  • However the movie-makers loved the puppet and decided to use him more in the movie.
  • Do audiences like or hate Salacious Crumb?
  • Is Salacious Crumb sentient? If so, was he plotting to overthrow Jabba like everyone else?
  • Salacious Crumb is either laughing or just making a sound like a monkey.
  • Salacious Crumb is also tipsy.
  • What the character of Jabba was going to be like originally.
  • More about Salacious Crumb:
    • He is a Kowakian monkey-lizard.
    • He jumped onto Jabba's space ship and was in Jabba's food bowl.
    • Jabba tried to eat him but then spat him.
    • Salacious Crumb amused Jabba so he made Crumb his court jester.
    • If Crumb could amuse Jabba once a day then he would be allowed to live.
  • Salacious Crumb is a very puppety character.
  • "Salacious Crumb" is a weird name.
  • The definition and spelling of "salacious".

Other Notes

  • Corruption in Jabba's Palace led by Bib Fortuna.
  • Luke says he is giving Jabba the two droids; this is another step in the rescue plan. However the rescue plan is not clear at this stage.
  • Different rescue plans.
  • Are the droids fitted with restraining bolts at Jabba's Palace?
  • Characters in the background of Jabba's Palace (including Bossk).
  • The rescue plan seems to be very risky and could go wrong at any step.
  • Luke should have given Jabba R5-D4 instead of R2-D2.
  • Other quicker rescue plans that could have been used.
  • Mentioned: Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
 Jordan had the Star Wars movies on VHS (it was taped from TV).
 He watched them over and over.
 One day, when he was in second grade, he started watching Return of the Jedi before going to school.
 He watched to the end of the Jabba sequence.
 He then left the tape in the recorder and left for school.
 His mother was watching MTV during the day and taped a single George Michael music video in the middle of the movie.
 Now, when he watches Return of the Jedi, he expects George Michael to walk in.
  • Luke has Aunt Beru's haircut in Return of the Jedi.
  • Why does everyone sleep in Jabba's throne room - like at Jessie Pinkman's house.
  • What is Jabba's main crime?
  • Jordan says goodbye and promotes:
    • His comics.
    • His podcasts "Sailor Business" and "Cast in Wax".
    • Twitter @cracksh0t.
  • Support the Show.

Meta Minute


  • Pete: ...analyse, scrutinize and "he's no jedize" the Star Wars movies one minute at a time.
  • Alex: Not so fast, wormie.
  • Pete: It seems very sloppy and... Alex: crummy.
  • Jordan: So he's a little pervy monkey.


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