Jedi Minute 69: Not My Lightsaber

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April 9th, 2015


The group finds itself hanging upside down in an Ewok net, suspended high above the clearing.


Asterios Kokkinos



  • Starts with Han saying he doesn't get it, and ends with the cold dead eyes of Paploo the Ewok staring at us.
  • First appearance of Teebo.


  • Han doesn't seem to get "eating" as a concept.
  • Ewoks are like Amish Wookiees or Teddy bear space hippies.
  • Referenced: Mouse Trap.
  • Artoo's gadgets.
  • Yoda's species? Referenced: Dr. Demento, Weird Al; "Yoda".
  • Artoo cuts one rope and the whole trap collapses.
  • How much does Artoo weigh?
  • How come Luke can't reach his lightsaber?
    • Han accidentally pinching Luke's butt. Mentioned: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.
  • Artoo as a Gatling gun of lightsabers.
  • Luke and Artoo training to pitch/catch the lightsaber.
  • Ewok Factoid:
    • Ewok Jedi?
    • What species get to be Jedi?
  • Skippy the Force-sensitive droid.
  • Other dumb Expanded universe stuff.
    • Luuke and Luuuke.
      • Lke©.

Jack Purvis

  • Teebo
  • Only actor to play a different character in each of the OT Star Wars films. He has his J.U.E (see below).
  1. Jawa
  2. Ugnaught
  3. Ewok
  • Terry Gilliam movies.
  • Gone too soon.
Asterios ROTJ memories
 He caught onto Star Wars later in life, which is surprising considering how into Star Trek he is. He first saw ROTJ as a remastered VHS before the Special Editions.
 Asterios doesn't care for the Jabba's sail barge massacre, unlike most other guests. It sets a strange tone, and isn't a "more elegant weapon".
 Luke being more at risk of turning to the Dark side. Parallel to Anakin murdering the Tusken Raiders in Episode II.
  • Fighting non-Jedi with your lightsaber.
  • One way or another, everybody left on Jabba's barge is toast.
  • Plug for the upcoming live show at Star Wars Celebration, and SWM on social media.

Meta Minute

  • 26:22 podcast episode length.
  • Cold open: plug for John Ingle and "Dodd Skalle".
  • Yoda's race and birthplace have never been revealed in either canonical or E.U. sources. However, some fans have come to know them as "Yodans" and "Yodaria", respectively.
  • E.G.O.T. stands for "Emmy", "Grammy", "Oscar", and "Tony". To earn your EGOT is to win the major award given for performance in each of the following: Television, Music, Movie, and Theater, respectively.


  • Pete: What, you want to go live in a world with holographic pornography? Alex: Wait, come back!
  • Alex: <in response to Asterios getting a Star Wars-related fact wrong> We'll edit it out, we'll protect your cred. We'll edit it out. Asterios: Thank you. Phew! Pete: *whispering* We're not going to edit that out.
  • Alex: "Jediewok".
  • Pete: Here's my Jedi card.


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