Last Jedi Minute 18: Bring the Porg

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February 24th, 2021


Asterios Kokkinos & Sirancha take a break from The Loudest Podcast to observe a tense meeting between Snoke and his pupil Kylo Ren!


Asterios Kokkinos and Sirancha



  • Starts with Snoke bragging about his "sharp tool" and it ends with Snoke saying that maybe he was mistaken.


  • Since there are no porgs in this minute, Asterios and Sirancha will have to "bring the porg".
  • Thoughts on Andy Serkis.
    • Could he appear in Star Wars another role? He of all people could be anything.
  • This scene is just bad guys being crappy to each other.
    • Snoke starts bad-mouthing Hux the moment he leaves, actually before the elevator doors are even closed.
  • Discussion of the word 'Cur' and "Les Miserables".
  • Does Snoke know he's a puppet? How much agency does he really have?
    • Maybe his memory is wiped when he was born.
    • Maybe it's like Dooku, where he thought he was on the plan, but then Palpatine turned on him.
  • Pete likes musicals but has not seen or heard "Les Mis".
    • North Korean Museum containing gifts from around the world to our glorious leader.
      • Phony "Anne Hathaway teeth" are like "chunks of the Berlin Wall" – don't be fooled by imitations!
      • Supposedly Uday Hussein's favorite movie was Air Bud and he own multiple copies. An imagined rift in the "Air Bud" fandom between Air Bud and Air Bud 2: Golden Receiver.
  • We know that Kylo Ren holds Vader in high regard but does Snoke? Or is he just dangling the comparison with Vader in his face because he knows the Kylo Ren does.
    • We know that Palpatine can't have a high opinion of him because Vader gave him the ol' shoot toss.
    • What is Snoke's plan / why is Palpatine having him toy with Kylo Ren?
    • We don't think Snoke is literally a puppet where Palpatine is controlling him all the time, although if he was (with Palpatine's hand inside of him controlling him) it would be funny later when he gets cut in half.
      • Having Snoke being a puppet makes him worthless as a character.
    • The collective noun for "Snokes".
      • Since there are so many Snokes, they should have been able to take care of the Resistance themselves: the Resistance is very small which is surprising since you'd think there would be more people who would be against the First Order.
        • But maybe it's like there's a lot of people who don't like the First Order, but very few who are willing to do anything about it.
  • Per Wookieepedia, Snoke took Kylo Ren to Dagobah to take the Magic Tree test while he was training him.
    • He saw Luke Skywalker and he killed him. But he also saw his parents whom he could not kill. Imagine Snoke tromping around Dagobah in his gold pajamas. He must have gotten filthy.
    • Rey's "Magic Tree" moment(s) in the next film. The SWM theory that the Magic Tree is really just Yoda's haunted house.
  • Updates to Disney Star Tours ride since rise of Skywalker came out.
  • Today's porg fact: there are three four porg toys you can buy a Galaxy's Edge (depending on how much money you/your parents want to blow on them).
  • Trivia question asked now and answered tomorrow: Snoke calls Kylo Ren "mighty". Where else in Star Wars have we heard the word 'mighty' being used (up to this point)?

Meta Minute

  • 27:06 podcast episode length.
  • Mark Hamill appeared alongside his "identical twin cousin" Luke Skywalker in the Muppet Star Wars episode.
  • defines 'cur' as:


cur (plural curs)

  1. (dated or humorous) A contemptible or inferior dog.
  2. (dated or humorous) A detestable person.
  • Air Bud is about a dog that can play basketball. It spawned numerous sequels and spin-offs.
  • Asterios get so excited talking about Watto (and to lesser extent, Dexter Jettster) that his headphones fall off.
  • Link to Addison Rae's TikTok.
  • The body of Darth Maul was played by Ray Park who was Toad in the X-Men franchise.
  • One of Alex's cats (who frequently makes an appearance in the videos) is named Tic Tac.


  • Pete: (Coining a phrase) As "happy as a cur", that guy.
  • Sirancha: I believe his [Jean Valjean] name is artoo-detoo?
  • Asterios: (still talking about "Les Mis") This movie's boring and stinks, I want to talk about a better movie! […] wait, do you guys know what—why is 'cur' a popular—I just talked a lot, I didn't say anything.
  • Sirancha: if I were Snoke and I knew they were forty thousand backup Snokes, I wouldn't be too keen on executing Palpatine's plans.
  • Asterios: (referring to Russell Crowe) Phone-thrower McYells-a-lot?

Asterios: (singing operatically as Russell Crowe) …you stole a loaf of bread! You stole the bread, you're a cur! You're always gonna be a cur!—and I was like "exit stage Kokkinos!".

  • Pete: The movie bombed so bad Ann Hathaway had to sell her teeth. Sirancha: It's really sad that that's what millionaire actresses are forced to go to.
  • Alex: (as Watto) Money is no good here, only molars!
  • Alex: They had to put the whole [Air Bud] franchise on "paws" [pause].
  • Alex: Speaking of verbal humiliation...
  • Asterios: (upon learning that there was a dianoga in Star Tours on the planet where the Death Star II crashed) ...And I said to Sirancha, "Hey that's a [dianoga]!" and she was like "Yeah I <prevaricating noises> I don't care". Pete: "Obviously. Duh". Alex: "I follow him on [sic] Tic Tac".
  • Asterios: (resentfully) Gosh-darn-it, you figured out everything Walt [Disney]! This is a beautiful experience.
  • Pete: I'm going to take this porg to the bathroom. Sirancha: He needs to go. I'll be right back.
  • Pete: Are there enough ['mighty's] to get us a "Boss Tone? What's the exchange rate? Is that still two to one, or what? Asterios: Well that's the impression that I get.


Audio only

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