Star Wars Minute 118: I Was a Porkins

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November 11th, 2013


Chewbacca growls and Artoo beeps with happiness.



J. K. Woodward




  • Referenced Ishtar, 5-25-77
  • J. K. was always distracted by the strip of metal on Threepio's hip that keeps bending. Special effects fail?
    • For this and a list of other reasons, this is J. K.'s least favorite minute.
  • What do the Rebels do after this? Is it like a wedding reception?
  • Callback to yesterday's minute.
  • Discussion of the order that the actors' names appear in the credits.
    • Eddie Byrne, who played General Willard, gets a strangely high billing position
  • Mentioned: Pete The Jawa
  • Shoutout to: Jack Purvis, Gary Kurtz
  • Who would you play when you played "Star Wars" as a kid?
    • Alex remembers wanting to be C-3PO.
  • Further discussion of how Star Wars borrows from Dune.
  • Is there still slavery on Tatooine? Probably. Why would you even have slaves in a world where droids exist?
  • Before the movie came out, the fan theory that The Phantom Menace (sorry, Pete), would be about Anakin freeing the slaves on Tatooine.
  • Who legally owns R2 and C-3PO now? Is it Luke? The hosts call for the help of a lawyer to sort out.
  • J. K. shares his Star Wars memories
  • How many viewings (as a child) did it take before you could grasp the plot?
  • Along those same lines, when should you introduce your kids to Star Wars?

Meta Minute

  • 22:50 podcast episode length.
  • This minute sets the precedent for analysis of the credits in the future movies - a little analysis of the credit, and then some free-form discussion.
  • The line "How dry I am" comes from the Irving Berlin song "The Near Future".
  • Alex can't decide what to call our guest today (J. K. or James), and at the last moment settles on a compromise.
  • Pete will later reveal that Lucas was fined for The Empire Strikes Back, not Star Wars.
  • In response to the request for legal advice, SWiMmer Hunter performed an extensive legal analysis and posted it to the SWMLS.
  • "5-25-77" refers to the date that Star Wars opened: May 25th, 1977.


  • Alex: I think we have the only two Ishtar fans in... possibly, North America. J. K.: A well-placed explosive and we'll be no more.
  • Alex: Drunks never sing "How Dry I Am" anymore like they used to. J. K.: You know what? Next time I get drunk I'm gonna make that happen for ya Alex.
  • Alex: (Referring to the writer/director of 5-25-77) We should have the guy who did that movie on the podcast. J. K.: Guys, I'm right here.
  • Alex: Should I call you 'J. K.' or 'James' on the show? J. K.: Either—I don't care. Leave it up to you. Alex: Ted, do you remember...
  • Pete: We took a little poll, beforehand, with all the people that we know: "What part of Star Wars do you hate?"
  • Alex, then Pete, and then J. K.: Monsters and glitter.


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