Empire Minute 38: Captain Scrapey

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Trek Shake.jpg


March 5th, 2014


The Millennium Falcon races away from the colliding Star Destroyers, still followed by four TIE fighters. Laser bolts spark the pitch-black skies.


Tim Kreider



  • Starts with Han outmaneuvering Star Destroyers; ends with Han and Chewie desperately trying to fix the Falcon's hyperdrive as there's only so much outmaneuvering they can do and they're trying to outrun them.


  • The very beginning of the minute stars with the end of Han's quip about C-3PO "Shut him up or shut him down". A clever quip. (Note: see below for further explanation)
  • Han's hatred for C-3PO.
  • Referenced - Marvin (the robot) from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
  • Tim likes Han's hatred for C-3PO, especially in this movie. The best moments of Han's hatred for C-3PO moments are:
    • "I'm not really interested in your opinion C-3PO."
    • 3PO gibbering on about how maybe they should just surrender to the Empire and they're really not so bad etc.; Han simply just wearily gestures to Leia like "Can you do something about this...?"; Leia leans over and turns C-3PO off.
    • When Han says to Chewie in ESB 46 "Chewie can you take the PROFESSOR out to...".
  • In the Leigh Brackett draft script for the movie C-3PO is still frozen in ice in this scene following a mishap back on Hoth.
  • Han uses a third dimension by flying DOWN at the Star Destroyers, which causes problems for the Destroyers.
  • The "Star Trek effect" of the actors staggering from side-to-side is used as klaxons sound in the background.
    • The hosts like the thought of the two Destroyers scraping along each other. They imagine how this scene would play out. You can cut that out.
  • The hosts name the Imperial Officer that says "take evasive action" Captain Scrapey. He is always bashing into other spaceships and getting into various scrapes.
  • The ammunition that the TIE fighters shoot at the Millennium Falcon appear to contain, and / or create, flak or "light-based" particles. The Leigh Brackett draft of the script actually refers to the Falcon being buffeted by exploding flak.
  • When the Falcon's hyperdrive was damaged. They were trying to fix it back on Hoth.
  • Who owns C-3PO and R2-D2 at this point? Technically, Vader (Anakin) still owns C-3PO - this may be why Vader is actually pursuing them so intently, he just wants his droid back.
  • Only four TIE fighters are sent after the Falcon.
  • Han's stream of techno-gibberish starts in this minute but will be discussed in more detail in the next podcast episode. This is another "Tim Teaser".

Meta Minute

  • 20:13 podcast episode length.
  • Cold-open: 8-DAY-GREEDO call - Paul from Kansas City - C-3PO points out that the Millennium Falcon's hyperdrive motivator is out of order just before they fly into the asteroid field. If you want to make money in the Star Wars universe then you need to go into the motivator repair business as it appears that there are no fully functioning motivators in that universe.
  • The term for a rhetorical device that displays inverted parallelism such as "Shut him up or shut him down" is called, and we are not making this up, "Chiasmus".
  • The technique of shaking the camera and having the actors flail about is called the "Star Trek Shake"
  • The host discuss what it would mean if things from the podcast start turning up on Wookiepeedia. Alex: "I wouldn't be excited so much as almost like a warning sign!". They then discuss the podcast as a symptom of the bigger problem; the hosts say they are in denial of that at this stage - the podcast is just for fun, although they are slowly being pulled into Star Wars canon. The next step is to be extras in a Star Wars movie.


  • Tim: <Intro> I'm Tim Kreider, guest star....
  • Pete: <To Tim> Thanks for coming back, I know it's Wednesday... Things are difficult on a Wednesday.
  • Alex: <As Vader> "3-PO, can you hear me. 3-PO."



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