Empire Minute 67: C-3PO's Big Book of Odds

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David Prowse and Peter Mayhew had an average height of 6' 10½" (2.1 m) between them, and if they were trying to sneak into an R-rated movie they'd need a trench coat 140 inches (355 cm) long, so yeah, they would certainly count as "big 'n tall".

Date

April 15th, 2014

Summary

Han pulls back on the hyperspace throttle and — nothing happens. Flak bursts continue to rock the ship.

Guests

Chris Radtke

Notes

Film

  • Starts with Admiral Piett asserting "we have them now" referring to the Millennium Falcon which is now out of the asteroid field.
  • Ends with Han Solo - the jump to light speed having failed - turning around and going towards the Star Destroyers.

Podcast

  • Piett could have been referring to something else with his "we have them now" line - for example, doughnuts.
  • Camera shots of the Falcon being pursued by Star Destroyers are always great. The Falcon is hit by a laser blast and bucks up and down. This is good space action.
  • Everybody in the movie is watching / participating in the battle.
    • They must be thinking "whoa, this is intense".
    • They are shaking up and down and side to side.
    • C-3PO waves his arms around and delivers exposition.
    • "We've escaped the space slug, left the asteroid field and are now being pursued by Star Destroyers."
    • At least C-3PO is being slightly positive for a change.
  • Great physical acting by Chewbacca in this sequence.
  • Kudos to Ben Burtt for the "hyperdrive fail" sound effect. This is made even better by the music cutting out.
  • Leia is exasperated and probably thinks that they're going to die.
    • Han doesn't think that they're going to die at any stage. Pete has a theory about this:
      • Han knew that the hyperdrive wasn't going to work.
      • He's happy that they've escaped the space slug and the asteroid field but doesn't want to admit that the Falcon is still broken.
      • Instead, he goes through a whole show.
      • "Ready everyone, ready, hyperspace on 3." Then "Oh no; it's not my fault" etc.
      • He knew all along and was just making a show of it.
    • Alex's view:
      • Han's exposition about lightspeed is purely for the audience.
      • Han does look genuinely crest fallen when the hyperdrive fails.
      • Alex also loves Han's "it's not my faults".
    • Chris agrees with whoever spoke last.
  • The Falcon crew think that they're going to get killed or captured if they can't go to lightspeed.
    • The crew doesn't know why they're being hunted at this stage.
    • If they were captured at this point Luke would still come to their rescue and the movie would resume as normal.
      • Although the bounty hunters would all be disappointed and leave.
      • The crew does screw Lando by going to his Cloud City establishment, although in the long run Lando is better off as he joins the Rebellion and becomes a better person.
  • If the Empire did capture the Falcon would Vader trade in his TIE fighter and take over the Falcon?
    • If so, who would be Vader's co-pilot?
      • The Falcon needs a pilot and co-pilot to operate it and a couple of Stormtroopers for the gun turrets.
      • Is the Falcon always a two-person driving job? The hosts say yes <Note - Episode VII suggests otherwise.>
    • In regards to the question regarding Vader's co-pilot:
      • Pete - Bossk; Vader would have a t-shirt saying "Bossk is my co-pilot".
      • Alex - Wald and/or his friend - Kitster. (The name Kitster is a cross between Kit Fitso and Dexter Jexter.)
      • Although Kitster would be reluctant to participate with Anakin after all these years - he's an accountant now and that was 30 years ago.
    • Chewbacca is just really frustrated that his life debt is to this loser Han Solo.
      • At this point he probably wishes that his life debt was to Vader.
      • Maybe Chewbacca could stay on the Falcon as Vader's co-pilot.
      • They would become known as "The Space Talls" and would shop at "Big and Tall" where they could buy matching Big and Tall bandoleers.
  • C-3PO attempts to give the odds but is told to shut up.
  • Leia is imprisoned in all three movies.
    • The hosts imagine that in Episode VII we will visit her in prison.
    • She will be a character like Red in "Orange is the New Black".
    • She would be in prison because the Alderaanian royal family were just terrible people and bounty hunters tracked them all down and threw them into jail.
  • Are C-3PO's odds for any spaceship, a spaceship of the Falcon's class, the Falcon specifically or for Han Solo as a pilot?
    • They're probably for a spaceship of the Falcon's class (i.e. a freighter) versus an asteroid belt.
    • Or, when C-3PO talked to the Falcon earlier he downloaded the full specs of the spaceship and knows exactly what it can do.
    • When he spoke to the Falcon he asked it to give him the odds of every possible scenario - for example running into a bear.
    • C-3PO then wrote all these down in his big book - "C-3PO's Big Book of Odds".
    • Then, when something happens, he goes through the tables in the book to work out the odds. "The shields are down so that's plus one to hits".
    • C-3PO should just give simple odds like "two to one" or "even money".
    • Jabba should use C-3PO and his odds for his gambling activities. This would be instead of the "odds card" used at casinos.
    • C-3PO would be dressed like a dealer and would wear a green cap.
  • Today's podcast episode is a short episode to make up for yesterday's episode (see ESB 66).
Chris's memories of seeing ESB for the first time.

Meta Minute

  • 16:38 podcast episode length.
  • Cold-open: promo for a kick-starter - a card game called Triptych: Anything vs Everything.

Quotes

  • Chris: I'm Chris Radtke from "Fake IDs", the podcast for under-aged drinkers.
  • Chris: <As C-3PO> Nine and three quarters.
  • Pete: <As Han to the tune of 2 Unlimited's song "Get Ready for This"> You all ready for light speed!
  • Chris: <As rastafarian Dengar> I crashed my Swoop; it's not my fault.
  • Alex: Some bollocks in the cockpit. Chris: Jim J. Bollocks.
  • Pete: I like saying Bossk.
  • Chris: Back in the late 90s I used to know his name.
  • Chris: <Chris and Alex as petulant teenage Leia> Shut up! Alex: Could you be more annoying? Chris: Oh my god!
  • Chris: <As lying Ben in a posh accent that sounds like Dudley Moore> Oh, from a certain point of view.
  • Alex: If you get lost between a small moon and New York City... <The as Ben> ...the best you can do is fall in love.

Link

http://www.starwarsminute.com/2014/04/15/empire-minute-67-c-3pos-big-book-of-odds/

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