Last Jedi Minute 55: John Wayne's Will

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Sebulba poster.png


April 16th, 2021


Guest commentator Ralph Attanasia can't wait to take a bite of the treats at Canto Bight!


Ralph Attanasia



  • This minute starts with Rose opining that Canto Bight is filled with worst people in the galaxy, and ends with Finn having a great time in Canto Bight.
  • Yasto Attsmun's (the "mustache" guy) big scene.
  • The person doing the voice is none other than director Rian Johnson.
    • His dialog is "Pablo Rayne Kiri", which is of course a reference to Pablo Hidalgo, Rayne Roberts, and Kiri Hart, all behind-the-scenes folks.
  • Slowen Lo is of course voiced by Joseph Gordon-Levitt from all those Rian Johnson movies.
  • Zoom shot.
    Canto Wings.gif
    • This scene is an homage to Wings (1927), which was the first film to win the Academy Award for Best Picture.


    • Canto Bight is infamous, both in- and out-of-universe.
    • It's not actually a casino planet, the casino is only a small portion of the planet. It's just a casino on a beach.
    • Ralph: if you had to live on a planet that only had one biome or environment (Star Wars-style) what would it be?
      • Pete would choose red licorice.
      • Alex was tempted to say a city planet like Coruscant, but maybe he'd want to be around nature so a forest planet like Endor.
      • Ralph would go to the "Star Wars" planet.
      • Or Alex might choose a tropical paradise planet like Scarif.
        • But the problem with living in a tropical paradise is where do you go on vacation?
    • The sail barge yacht Undisputed Victor (Niagara Falls airship).
    • Mentioned: SEBULBA!!.

    Slowen Lo

    • He breaks the "Star Wars monoculture, where every member of a species has the same accent" rule.
    • Alex doesn't like it when famous people do the voices from Star Wars but he feels differently about John Wayne "voicing" Garindan in Star Wars because it was probably done against his will.
      • Celebrities doing the voice vs. a faceless cameo.
      • It would have been better if it was someone more nerd culture-adjacent, not someone who's already a big movie star who wouldn't appreciate it. Comparison to Snap Wexley.
    • Clearly, Slowen Lo is a morally complex character:
      • He's rich, but he made his fortune selling driftwood sculptures, but no word on whether he's the actual artist or just a retailer.
      • He owns a beachside residence and the guys did park on his beach, so is it like them parking in his yard? or just on his private beach?

    Other notes

    • Every time Pete hears this new Cantina-style song, he thinks it's going to be the Ween song "Bananas and Blow".
    • Jizz music.
    • À la J. J. Abrams and the Beastie Boys, what band would choose for all the names of a members of a Star Wars alien race? Brief discussion of They Might Be Giants, maybe Tom Waits.
    • Ralph and Alex both love the Canto Bight zoom shot, but something about it doesn't quite ring true for Pete. Mentioned: "Babylon 5", The Fifth Element.
      • If things are similar but not exact it's not satisfying; either make it the same thing or make it something completely different and new.
        • There is a certain "sameness" about Canto Bight, like they all use the same tailor. Compare this with the gambling scenes in Solo.
    • What constitutes "your Star Wars" is whatever you had growing up.
      • For Pete it was the original Star Wars and the Holiday Special which he had on Betamax.
      • For Ralph it was the "Star Wars Tales" books.
        • Alex and Pete have given up on the books, Ralph has tried to read them but they all feel of no consequence, like they solely exist to explain how or why very minor things happened in the movies, rather than being a story on their own.
          • Even the Tarkin book didn't grab Ralph. And Tarkin is one of his favorite characters from the first Star Wars.
    • The Grammus twins (Rhomby and Parallela). Mentioned: Klaus Nomi, the carpet from The Shining.
    • The utter disbelief on people's faces when you try to explain this show to them.
    • The Canto Bight police.
      • Alex doesn't care for the uniforms, it's too futurist, too Mobius. Mentioned: The Fifth Element (again).
      • The cops are trained not to resort to physical violence for fear of getting sued.
    • So far, we still like the Canto Bight sequence. Shoutout to John Williams. Referenced: The Great Gazoo ("Flintstones").
    • It's Friday, so the guys are going out for space beers after this.
    • Ralph plugs the new season of "Buddy versus Duff".
    • Hang out with the guys on Twitter. Although Ralph doesn't really use Twitter these days. He doesn't have a blue check.

    Meta Minute

    • 43:32 podcast episode length.
    • 8-DAY-GREEDO call from Ben from Chicago. One of C-3PO's lines in Star Wars presages the appearance of Canto Bight: "I Canto Bight <sic> those Jawas, disgusting creatures!"
    • Alex is referring to the "Star Trek: TOS" episode "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield".
    • The last appearance of Sebulba in chronological order (at least, in the new Canon) was immediately following the Battle of Endor (4 ABY), so we know he lived at least that long. Once again, no Canon sources give Sebulba's age or the maximum lifespan of his species (the Dugs), but Legends sources give their maximum average age at 75 years, so it is conceivable that Sebulba could still be alive during the Sequel era.
      • The episode of "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" that features the Sebulba vs Quadinaros poster is season 6, episode 6 – "The Rise of Clovis". There's also a poster of Sebulba advertising an autograph signing (see above) in Season 4, episode 16– "Friends and Enemies".


    • Alex: Can't you guys, see you're exactly the same! You're both gross licorice! Ralph: You're both just terrible!
    • Alex: "The whole planet is one big 'Star War'".
    • Pete: (re: the people on his licorice planet) …they're running around being like "eat me!" and I'm like "I will."
    • Ralph: Get into one of these molten Twizzlers showers. It's not the worst thing you've ever imagined.
    • Ralph: *resignedly* I hate Star Wars.
    • Ralph: (to Alex) You're like a tongue probing at a rotten tooth; you just keep coming right back to it.
    • Alex: That's like Don Knotts and Mike Tyson having a rivalry. Pete: Boy, was that a rough one.
    • Pete: (quoting John Wayne's will) "When I die, please do not use my voice as the voice of an alien creature in any sci-fi movies."
    • Ralph: Mos Espa is sand and deranged haberdashery.
    • Alex: …nothing that cannot be improved with a little Tony Shalhoub.
    • Pete: Ambulance chasers a-plenty at Canto Bight.
    • Ralph: (re: the content of his occasional Twitter posts) *frustrated* Politics are stupid and here's a video of a shark!


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