Jedi Minute 68: Horse Pilot

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If you can read this, your TIE fighter's too close.


April 8th, 2015


Luke runs with the helmet to where Han has found the charred wreckage of a speeder bike in the grass.


Asterios Kokkinos



  • Starts with the further adventures of Leia's hat; ends with Chewbacca finding some meat on a stick.
  • The meat on the stick: unidentified tusked species.


  • Wicket still being scared of Leia's hat (Note: this was brought up last week).
    • Why else would Leia leave it?
    • Everybody ditches their Rebel hats.
  • Han being glad Leia was gone.
  • Ewoks eating the speeder bikers.
  • Callback to Pete listing the native Fauna of Endor.
  • Asterios loves Star Wars and that this show exists.
  • How much does Han really understand Chewie?
  • The character of Chewbacca being inspired by George Lucas' dog.
    • Other dog-like properties of Wookiees.
  • How Endor won the lucrative Death Star contract.
    • Why not build it at Coruscant? To get away from it all.
    • Also: see below.
  • The Empire destroying stars vs. planets.
  • The Sun Crusher. Referenced: Wesley and Beverly Crusher from Star Trek.
  • Space Epic (and the backup book) from Devastator Press. Asterios could use help from the listeners; comment on the Facebook page with the best dumb things from the EU.
  • Other dumb things from the EU:
  • Star Wars in 3D.
  • Meta Minute

    • 25:35 podcast episode length.
    • Cold open: Ad-read
    • Although not named at the time this episode first aired, the Unidentified tusked species was identified as a Verkle, a rodent native to Endor, in Return of the Jedi: Beware the Power of the Dark Side! by Tom Angleberger.
    • Julian Lennon was the inspiration for no less than 3 Beatles songs.
    • A possible explanation for why the second Death Star was not built at Coruscant is that, in earlier drafts, the forest moon of Endor orbited the Imperial homeworld of Had Abbadon (discussed early in the movie), rather than a planet that is also named Endor (editor's note: which is far less interesting).
    • Good job Alex, Starkiller base does destroy stars, but not by blowing them up.
    • The Sun Crusher was armed with "resonance torpedos" capable of causing a star to go supernova.
    • Hohass was a Thakwaash. Although they were equinoid in form, they were in fact bipeds and not full-on horses. He was a founding member of Wraith Squadron.
    • The Phantom Menace 3D re-release made $43,456,382 domestically (half of it in the opening weekend)[1], for a total lifetime gross of $533,827,888. There are no available figures on how much it cost to convert, but if we take Asterios' estimate at face value, that would still have left a profit of more than $285,000,000.


    • Asterios: (as a newly single Han Solo) Me and Mon Mothma are gonna hit the town.
    • Asterios: (as the Emperor) We better go somewhere else. Those teddy bears seem cool.
    • Asterios: (as 'Senator' Wicket) Yub yub. Yub yub mint julep yub yub? Yub yub wet your whistle?
    • Pete: I thought the Sun [son] Crusher was Wil Wheaton. Alex: *groans* Asterios: Oh, I get it! I'm the dumb one, as usual.
    • Pete: It's hard to top Horse Pilot.
    • Alex and then Pete: "Small potatoes compared to a horse pilot."
    • Asterios: I can't read all of Wookieepedia—I'll die! Like, I'll literally choke to death on my own barf.
    • Alex: <Liverpudlian accent> Pick whatever duality you want.


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