We Know You Hate It When We Talk About the Toys

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June 26th, 2017


With Dan Telfer, Paul Rust, and Tony and the Thaxtones.

Recorded live at NerdMelt


Paul Rust, Dan Telfer, with a special appearance by Tony Thaxton, and the Thaxtones.


  • The guys recorded a huge backlog of shows while they were in L.A.
  • Origin of the "People hate toy talk" running joke.
    • Back in season 1, Pete's wife pointed out that she didn't have the toys growing up, and would zone out when the guys would talk about them, and maybe other people felt the same.
    • When Pete mentioned this on Twitter, people came out strongly in favor of the toys, but by then it had become a running gag.
  • Both our guests brought up the toys on their past appearances.
  • Dan would've liked to have been able to swear, but there was a kid right there in the front row.

The Jek Porkins Memorial Sexology

  • Debut of Tony and the Thaxtones. They play the theme live.
  • Our favorite Star Wars Toys.
Tony (and Thaxtones)
Toy Notes
Jabba playset
Tony lost the Salacious Crumb that came with the playset, and his mom wrote to Kenner and got them to send him a replacement.
Dagobah playset
From the band. Included Yoda's house and a tiny bit of swamp. Had a little button that raised Luke's luggage.
  • Star Wars TSA.
Homemade Sarlacc pit toy Tony retells the story of making his own Sarlacc pit out of sharks' teeth in a hole in his sand box and the board (skiff) with a ruler nailed to it (the plank).
  • Alex retells the story of making an Imperial walker from a shoebox with wooden legs nailed to it.
  • Paul gives a shoutout to former guest of the show Neil Campbell.
Toy Notes
Death Star playset
Came out in 1978 (part of the first wave of toys). Came with a trash compactor and foam garbage with a dianoga.
12-inch Boba Fett
Had a hole in the back of his head so you could look through his viewfinder. Came with a Wookiee pelt, and had a rocket with a rope to be used as a grappling hook. He had all of the 12-inch figures except for IG-88, which came out later, and the Princess Leia. He had a cousin who had it, and he traded her a whole bunch of lesser toys to get it.
  • Pete retells the story of bringing a 12-inch stormtrooper figure to his Hebrew nursery school back when he lived in Florida. The very Jewish teachers were not super cool with him playing with a "stormtrooper" and would not let him play with it.
Toy Notes
He played nicely with his complete collection of M*A*S*H figures. Also he was Pete's favorite color, dark teal, with a bare (so bare you could see through it) midriff.
The original Millennium Falcon
It was the first year that Pete realized how Christmas worked and he was super excited. The Falcon was almost like a small playset in itself; included smuggling compartments you could hide figures in, it had the gun turret.
  • Mentioned: Long time (*applause*).
  • Pete retells the story of moving out of Green Point, Brooklyn and throwing out 1) his original Millennium Falcon, 2) his 90's re-release Falcon, 3) his AT-AT, and 4) his G.I. Joe aircraft carrier.
    • Saving his toys from the dumpster would be pretty high on his "time machine" list.
    • Mentioned: The Millennial Falcon.
Toy Notes
Cloud City Threepio with removable limbs
One of those figure that was supposed to come apart. Came with a black net bag you could put him in so Chewbacca could carry him. You had to send in proofs of purchase to get him in the mail.
  • Brief digression into G.I. Joe figure talk.
The Rebo band
Everybody had an instrument or thing they could sing into. But Max Rebo had a blue diaper. Why was he wearing a diaper, and why was it the same color as his body?
Toy Notes
Rancor monster
He was always into monsters. He was the perfect age to see Jedi in theaters. The jaw on the Rancor could move, but the Gamorrean guard that came with the figure was too tubby to fit all the way in there. However, there were plenty of figures that could shove all the way inside, and there was no way to get them out without help from dad and a coat hanger. He once got his brother's favorite Han stuck in there, but didn't want his dad to get him out because if Han deserved to live he'd find his own way out.
Referenced: The OPC Killa
TIE Fighter with exploding Wings
Since Dan had 5 brothers, it was good when toys came apart intentionally.
If he had to pick a third, it would be all the different stormtroopers, especially the snowtrooper.
  • Snowtrooper skirts.
  • Pete had all the original versions of the toys that didn't match the movies: vinyl cape Jawa, non-belly slice Tauntaun, blue lightsaber ROTJ Luke.
  • We never close out this sexology.
  • Kenner made the board game "Battle at Sarlacc's Pit".

Star Wars video games

  • There are a lot of them, but not a lot of good ones.
  • The only one Alex has played is the Star Wars Lego game.
  • Knights of the Old Republic.
  • Original X-wing game.
  • The original Star Wars arcade game.
    • Pete can never beat levels where you have to rope AT-ATs from your snowspeeder.
  • The Star Wars pod game.
  • Battlefront.

More Toy Talk

  • What was the last Star Wars toy you bought?
    • Dan: Jedi toys from The Phantom Menace. His girlfriend asked if he even liked the movie and why he would buy the toys.
      • In January, Disney Infinity Boba Fett for himself.
    • Paul: A Gamorrean guard, for a friend.
    • Alex: He retold his story of hanging out with Tony Consiglio and going to buy AOTC toys, and then at the last minute coming to his senses and deciding not to buy any more toys.
    • Tony: bought two Rogue One figures with Matt Belknap.
    • Pete: bought one The Force Awakens figures: PZ-4CO (she's a teal robot).
  • Pete worked at Forbidden Planet when they started making Star Wars toys again. Employees weren't allowed to buy the toys due to fears over limited supply, so he gave a friend money to buy the toys for him.
  • Least favorite toys?
    • Alex: Ric Olié.
    • Dan: Every toy you can actually find on a shelf, since 1999.
      • Nerd collectors are ruining it for everyone.
    • Dan again: Phantom Menace Yoda.
    • Todd: Y-wing (Sorry, Pete). He couldn't remember the Y-wing being in the movie, but now that he knows what it is, he realized it was a cool toy.
  • Live closing theme.

Meta Notes

  • 1:10:35 podcast episode length.
  • The name of this episode is a Running joke
  • The Opening theme was played live by Tony Thaxton and the Thaxtones.
  • With a lag time of 196 days, this is the longest period between when an episode was recorded and when it was released.
  • The first mention of possibly doing a toys-only episode was raised in the Summer Update just prior to the L.A. live show back in April 2014.
  • Green berets were worn by many different armed forces around the world, but originated with British commando forces during WWII[1].
  • The Dagobah playset was also mentioned during ESB Minute.
  • Tony told his shark tooth Sarlacc pit story before, Alex told his shoebox Walker story before as well.
  • Paul mentioned "Christian hell" during his appearance on Return of the Jedi Minute.
  • "Stormtroopers" were specialist German shock troops during WWI, but paramilitaries that served the Nazi party up to and during WWII were also sometimes known as stormtroopers[2].
  • "A Long Vest" is the name of an episode from the original Star Wars Minute.


  • Alex: Like so many Palpatines, we played everyone like puppets.
  • Dan: ...there's nothing more terrifying than other people's parents.
  • Pete: (in response to Paul's question "what's your favorite beret?") Raspberry is number one. Alex: Green, because we're patriots.
  • Paul: Just wind me up and I'll get started.
  • Dan: <bellowing> THIS PIECE OF PLASTIC IS A TRANDOSHAN, MOM! Pete: He has a name, mom. Dan: You're not the Bossk of me. *Actual rim shot from the band*.
  • Dan: Don't tell fictional Star Wars characters how to become better terrorists.
  • Paul: Usually some time at summer camp or your freshman year at college...you wear a snow skirt.
  • Pete: <quickly> Here's a hundred bucks, get whatever you want. Pretend I don't know you.



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